A New Out Look

Sitting in the quiet recesses of my home I look at events over the last weekend and I have to wonder to myself who that person was, am I truly so far gone from myself that I must resort to such a thing? I know that there are answers to be had and questions that must be raised but I am not going to fade into nothingness once more simply because some people do not wish to hear my truths, I suffer as many do from a disease, the details are not important nor are the particulars of what occurred(for the sake of my children it is kept quiet) needless to say that somewhere between desperation and crushing destruction,I found a new out look on life, it is meant to live not to sit by and wallow in what ever self righteous fury that may come out of the end results, whether I chose to speak of my disease or whether i chose to share it with only those who must know is my decision and mine alone. There is love in my world that is generated not by obligation or forced need but by a true and genuine heart, it took me a while to realize that life's blessings though they may be few and far between are truly wonderful and I count myself lucky and blessed to have known such love. There are those who do not understand and who will never truly understand the rate of disintegration the mind can take unless they have walked a million miles in the shoes of someone who has felt it. There are no excuses only explanations for those who are deserving of such and for the rest who care only about a perceived slight or a perceived show of disrespect then I suggest you look at your own lives and start cleaning house there for I have no time or energy to play nurse maid to heal your perceived hurts for something that was out of my control.

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