The slow moving music seems to be a contradiction to the fast pace the world around me has set. I try to remember to slow down and look around remembering that we can never get back those moments once they are gone. I close my eyes and I see his face, their faces, and I weep for the time that I have lost with them dreaming of them is all that I have now. But they are still hear with me my guardians and my guides the cherished parts of a past that I can not hide and would not want too. Tomorrow the sun will rise and the world will continue to spin on, as I hold on to my memories spinning round and round I remember the days when all I could do was sit around and cry. Today I feel no tears as the years seem to disappear only the memories of what was are left behind. I feel her hand on my shoulder and know that if I turned around she would be there smiling at me her daughter her love in her eyes as she smiles with such grace and beauty that it takes my breath away. I love that there is something so deep and life affirming
Time moves slowly these days, the clocks hands ticking ticking away with each passing day, things move forward with now rhythm or reason, things are changing with each passing season. Violence we see out our shuttered doors, poverty and disease we hide from on wooden floors, a child’s cry we do not hear because we are blind and live in fear. What will tomorrow bring we do not know, but a better life is what we are owed. Politics and hatred fill the air in waves as people only watch and despair. to change things takes courage, to mend and repair takes time. we watch the world turn on a dime, lost are the things that our ancestors used to do replaced by technology that cripples society for the new. When do we stop and say it is enough go back to the time when people were tough, when politics were true and life was the only view. Helping should not be a crime, giving of yourself the only passage of time, helping thy neighbor get through the hard times that have effected even you. Morality yes it is important that is true but what about the basics the simplest of rules, treat others as you would want to be treated.
Wonder is the devil to a creative mind, impossible to shut off and forget the things that were left behind, never knowing if what is now is real or if yesterday has somehow created the cloud. It is close to the surface and yet just out of reach the pain still lingers and happiness weeps. Tears from blue/green eyes fall like the rains from the skies, their are not answers to the questions left behind only the raw ache of a life over before their time, we wonder sometimes can they see do they know the pain that we feel and why healing is so slow.
We close our eyes and hope for a glimpse an answer to the question upon the soft rose lips, in the darkness we cry and wonder why, when life is so fleeting are we left behind? Is it by chance or design that we are given such pain? There are no answers only our truths that we live with as we walk along the lonely darkened beaches of life, we pass each others strangers who also cry and we wonder why? Finding no solace that we are not alone in our grief only the truth that no one else can see what we see so plainly in the black of the night.
Lost in the creative mind we search for the tide that will take away the pain we ride like the electric horse up the mountains so high, there is no end in sight for these lonely nights that wrap us up tight and hide us from the light. Only tomorrow will bring relief at least that is what they say personally I think it is decay that wipes away the pain we carry as we ride the fairy of life.
We walk along the shady lanes of life, looking and searching seeing only strife. Our paths cross many roads, some paved and some dirt, we travel and travel with no end in sight. Ten steps into the dark and we run for the light, always searching for something not within our sight. The wind blows howling in the dark pushing us farther and farther from the light, the tunnel we begin to see is never ending, and goes on and on for eternity.
We rise when we are knocked from our feet searching long and deep for the strength to continue to travel on this unknown road. Our world grows smaller and darker with each passing year, only the hope that tomorrow may bring back the light keeps us here. The paths are broken, the words go unspoken as we pass each other in the dark, we do not see that pain we feel reflected in each others eyes. Watching and waiting we come to understand that we are destined to travel this land forever searching for a place to land.
As we trek through the mountains and the deserts searching for answers that will not hurt we come to understand that Eternity is all we have, in this life and the next we are doomed to repeat each life until we get it right.
So it is a few days late and for that I apologize, things are always crazy this weekend we went and spent your birthday with your aunt and uncle and cousins. It is still hard to imagine what you look like or what kind of man you would be because you were gone so quickly from my life that I never really got the chance to know. But I still think of you and I wish that you could have been here their is so much that I would love to have shown you and taught you. But I know that even when I cant see you my little love that you are there with me still just unseen. Your daddy still doesn’t acknowledge that you where here, I will never understand why, but he has his reasons and although things were bad between us for many years he is a good man just doesn’t understand that someday he is going to have to face you and acknowledge that you truly do exist. Anyways my little love, I just wanted to write this down so that you know I did not forget and that you are always connected to my heart and in my thoughts. Peace love and light my angel, I love you!
The sea of change is blowing in wiping away the past and renewing the present. Tomorrow is only a dream away as we travel through the precepts of time. Walk along the road of before us never to stray away from the beat in path, each step we take predicted, we never stumble and fall. Taking the unbeaten path we learn to move away from the safety of the known and the adventure of the unknown. The path least traveled will provide it’s own rewards, there is no playing it safe in life, it is an adventure meant to be lived