Exploding Rage

So I think I am in social media over load! Today and many days in the last Two weeks I have been feeling like that scared Little girl all over again! I am tired of seeing women demonized and victimized by these morally repugnant assholes who think it is great fun to make fun of victims of sexual assault! There is nothing funny about it! Anyone who thinks that it is okay to publicly belittle someone for something they had no control over is soulless and not someone we should look up too!

Enough Political soap box this is where I find my Zen! Telling my story releases the pain I have carried 45 Years. So where did I leave off?

So let’s go back a few years, the effects of the Abuse began to show is my early teens, I did not value myself this would become a real problem. I had my first Consensual experience at the ripe age of eleven! Again with a family member, I would later learn he was a victim as well!

This went on, sporadically over the years until I was about 16. I spent those years trying to over come it all! It hasn’t happened I still feel like that little girl who is powerless to stop the insanity of self loathing! Anyways, life never let’s up even when your young!

After the molestation ended I never saw David after that he spent his life in a drunken homeless haze until his death! I wish I could say I recovered, I wish I could say that it didn’t effect my life! 45 years after the first time it is still clear in some respects others not so much.

It is a myth that we can remember everything, what I remember is bad enough I don’t need worse Memories to compound it. I Spent my teenage Years making myself numb to it all

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