Sleep is hard to come by some nights, my eyes want to close and yet I still fight. There is much to say and so little time, life moves quickly, quicker than this rythm. Flashes of what could be or perhaps they are reality who knows but sleep still wont come to me.
I close my eyes and there I am stuck in my head without a sound, waiting patiently for the dreams to begin when sleep should carry me away again. Yet here I sit in this dark gloomy space waiting and wondering what will take place.
Sleep is hard to come by it seems for what does it truly mean, to shut down the mind to loose control to not understand but just let go. Sleep that place most find where peace and dreams fill the mind but when I close my eyes I see only black staring back at me. Where is sleep? Where has it gone? Why am I the only one home? Sleep so elusive and fast I just wish it would come at last.
Is it a dream I see, do my eyes decieve me, is there something wrong with the way I carry on? Life moves so quickly I see the change with out me. Am I being left behind or is it the truth that is so hard to find.
I close my eyes at night and wonder truthfully without a fight where has the time gone moving so quickly almost like a song. Passing me by all I see is flashes of the past and what could be. Dreaming has become the only way to carry on as I move forward in the sea of night where only the darkness can win the fight and wonder what it al truly means and I hear living this dream.
Tomorrow seems so far away it is only the dreams that are here to stay. So I close my eyes and hope to see tomorrow looking back at me. The hopes and dreams of yesterday have given way to tomorrows reality. I perfer it here where the dreams let me be in the present without tomorrow to see. So close your eyes and dream and remember that the future is where dreams begin and were reality will end.
I close my eyes and I see flames rage that boils into my dreams, pictures in my mind I never wanted to see, silently I scream wanting to rend and tear at the asshole who dared……… What kind of animal does such a thing, why do I feel like I am stuck in this helish nightmare a never ending dream.
What are my choices truly do you care? Would you care to know how it feels to helpless and alone? would you care to know the confusion and pain that you have caused just the same? Do you even care that you hurt what I cherish more than anything in this life? do you have any idea how easily I could take your life?
Hate is to weak of term for what I feel right now blind impotent rage is where I am at. I can not get it out of my mind that you shit bag put your hands on what is most important to me. Destroyed his inoncence and did not give a damn. Trust me when I say there is a special place in hell for monsters like you. and if I believed in Hell I would wish you there. but Karma is a mother fucker baby and your day will come.
BUT KNOW THIS WHO EVER YOU ARE! I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING AND I WILL ENJOY WATCHING YOU DESTROY YOURSELF FROM AFAR. AND IF YOU EVER SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT HIM AGAIN I WILL BECOME THE MONSTER WITHIN AND TEAR YOU APART AS I WANT TO DO AT THIS MOMENT. PEACE OUT BITCH REMEMBER THIS KARMA IS COMING FOR YOU AND YOU WILL ONE DAY GET YOUR JUST DUE.
The hands move, the slow clicking sound of the clock changing time, each second a breath that passes as quickly as it came, and yet no time has passed at all. Mirrored eyes looking through the broken glass see only the slow motion of hands that move with each beat of the heart, there are no words only the sharp undeniable hands of time, twisting with each movement forward the past and present into one moment.
Journey at the beginning time moves quickly so fast that it can not be seen and yet it stands still never changing always at its will, the twist in time will reveal the truth about what is.Tomorrow and yesterday only parts of the play what is, what was and what will be all in the path of time, each twist and turn the hands continue moving steadily forward as if nothing is new.
the deafening sounds of the clicking clock echos off the walls of the world leading never following always moving forward never back. The wind whispers and the rain falls and still time marches to its own beating drum, keeping all moving away from the beginning and always to the end. In the end the twist in time keeps moving forward.
The slow moving music seems to be a contradiction to the fast pace the world around me has set. I try to remember to slow down and look around remembering that we can never get back those moments once they are gone. I close my eyes and I see his face, their faces, and I weep for the time that I have lost with them dreaming of them is all that I have now. But they are still hear with me my guardians and my guides the cherished parts of a past that I can not hide and would not want too. Tomorrow the sun will rise and the world will continue to spin on, as I hold on to my memories spinning round and round I remember the days when all I could do was sit around and cry. Today I feel no tears as the years seem to disappear only the memories of what was are left behind. I feel her hand on my shoulder and know that if I turned around she would be there smiling at me her daughter her love in her eyes as she smiles with such grace and beauty that it takes my breath away. I love that there is something so deep and life affirming