Getting back to my childhood, I changed after time, where I was an outspoken vibrant little girl, I became withdrawn and quiet. Painfully shy and deep within myself, I had my world changed and it would continue to evolve, its funny I can remember the first time like yesterday, but what followed over the five years until it ended when I was ten is fuzzy at best and fleeting most of the time. I was not so much a lonely child I had friends and I had plenty of love and I would eventually come out of my shell again. But I would be about 12 years old when that happened.

As I explained David was one of my favorite cousins, and not to make excusses for what he did, the abuse only occurred when he was drunk and high, which was most of the time. It makes you wonder what could cause a 17 year old to become an alcoholic at such a young age? I often wonder, but those answers I probably wont ever get cause fo r the most part anyone with those answers are either dead or living in the land of denial.

Anyways, David would not be a permanent part of my life he would drift in and out for many years. There were times I dreaded going home because he would be there and other times not so much excitement bu t glad to see him. In general he was not a terrible person, but he was not a wonderful person either, from my perspective I think he was a very troubled person who probably had some really bad shit happen to him.